


Ugh!!

by darknefarious



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Gen, Talk of cannibalism, not that serious though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-02
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-15 21:06:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2243508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darknefarious/pseuds/darknefarious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“If you got stranded on a deserted island with nothing but a dead person with you, will you eat the body?” Zack asked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ugh!!

“If you got stranded on a deserted island with nothing but a dead person with you, will you eat the body?” Zack asked absentmindedly.

They all turned their attention to him. Trust Zack to ask a stupid question because he had nothing else to do. They shouldn’t have watched that dumb movie in the first place. Zack’s mind tended to form ideas when he was bored.

Angeal shook his head and gave him a disappointed look, “Have you forgotten basic survival training, Zack?”

“First, stay calm. Check the area if it is secure, as physical safety is important. Then look for necessities like clean water and food.” Sephiroth started but was immediately stopped by Zack. He would’ve recited the whole ShinRa survival instructions if Zack didn’t.

“Okay, sorry, that wasn’t clear.” Zack took a deep breath and started explaining the situation, “So you’re stuck in an island with a dead body. I dunno, maybe got washed up there or a plane crash. You found clean water, but got no food. Will you eat the body?”

There was a moment of silence. They should just ignore Zack really. The situation he gave was exactly what had happened on that movie they watched, except he added a dead body and ‘no food’ on it.

Finally, Cloud’s voice broke the silence, “I probably would’ve.”

“That’s… ew!” Zack said.

“Well if it’s a do or die…” Cloud reasoned.

Zack shook his head, “Dude, just… no!”

“Cloud does have a point. If the only means of survival is eating the dead body added with the person’s desperation…” Trust Sephiroth to try and use logic on it.

“Why are we talking about this?” Angeal asked. He was ignored.

Genesis closed the book he was reading, now interested with how the conversation was turning out, “You do realize that the body will eventually decompose and will not be suitable for consumption.”

“Store the body in a fridge,” Cloud suggested, “It will last longer.”

They all stared at the blond.

“It’s a deserted island Cloud.” Sephiroth said.

The blond’s eyes widened, “Oh yeah.”

“So perhaps we should alter the situation a bit then. What if you got stranded in an island with a cold climate instead?” Genesis said.

“We should probably stop talking about this.” They once again paid no attention to Angeal.

Sephiroth considered the altered situation, “The temperature would hopefully be enough to delay the decomposing process and stretch the span of your provision.”

Did Sephiroth just considered the dead body provision? Yes. Yes he just did.

Zack scrunched up his face in revulsion, “You would still eat it? It would probably taste horrible! Besides could you imagine eating like… a finger or something? Taste gross, looks gross.”

Genesis shrugged, “Try cooking it with fire then, probably help with the taste.”

“I don’t think food aesthetic is important.” Sephiroth added.

“This conversation is a bad idea.” Angeal muttered.

“Why don’t you slice the body in chunks and skewer the meat?” Cloud made a chopping gesture with his hands, “Then that’s when you barbecue it on fire. But I guess it’s only good for muscle… what?” 

“Cloudy, I am starting to get really worried about you,” Zack was still focused on Cloud, “Where do you even get those?”

“Nibelheim has a harsh climate. Sources of food could be scarce so we have to do something…” Cloud shrugged, “You know…”

The blond said it all without missing a beat. They stared at Cloud. Cloud stared back with the same intensity. After a few more seconds of complete silence, the blond finally laughed out loud.

“Psyche! Got you all didn’t I?” Cloud was clutching his side in laughter now, “Gaia! Your faces were hilarious! I wish I took a picture of it…”

Zack was the first to react. He stood up and pointed an accusing finger at Cloud, face still contorted in horror, “Cannibal! You’re a cannibal!”

“I said I was kidding,” Cloud managed to stop laughing and wiped the tears on his eyes, “Of course we don’t murder and kill people…”

Zack wasn’t convinced, “Hah! Of course you’ll deny it. But we all know the truth now!”

“I watched it from a television show, Zack.” The blond said patiently.

“I can’t believe you could do this Cloud!” Zack yelled and then ran out from the room.

“What the actual fuck Zack!” Cloud yelled back. He turned to look at the remaining three, silently asking for an explanation.

Sephiroth huffed and then shrugged.

Genesis gave the blond a grin, “Puppy comes up with a scandalizing topic then be the one to get scandalized at the end.”

Angeal crossed his arms, “I kept telling you we should have stopped this.”


End file.
